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    We all called Family Matters one of the greatest family sitcoms ever made. But when you rewatch it as an adult, the funniest character on television turns out to be the loneliest, and the joke stops being funny real quick. In this breakdown I go through every relationship Steve Urkel had inside that house and what each one was really doing to him. Carl as the father figure he spent nine years auditioning for. Harriette and the difference between being tolerated and being chosen. Mother Winslow as the one adult who never laughed AT him. Eddie and the friendship that always came with a price. Laura, limerence, and why “no” was never just no to him. Myra and the double standard nobody wants to admit. Stefan Urquelle and what happens to a child who decides the problem is himself. And the parents who completely abandoned him. This is attachment theory, childhood emotional neglect, conditional regard, and limerence, explained plain and applied to a show you have already seen a hundred times. If you enjoyed this breakdown, don't forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for more deep dives into the psychology behind TV shows, movies, and pop culture. Business and brand inquiries: indeskribeabull@gmail.com Follow me: @indeskribeabull on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook Merch: www.ok2bapparel.com #steveurkel #familymatters #blacktvshows #90ssitcom #jaleelwhite Sources Family Matters, created by William Bickley and Michael Warren, ABC and CBS, 1989 to 1998 John Bowlby, Attachment and Loss, Volume 1: Attachment, Basic Books, 1969 Mary Ainsworth, Mary Blehar, Everett Waters, and Sally Wall, Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation, Lawrence Erlbaum, 1978 Vincent Felitti and colleagues, Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults (the ACE Study), American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 1998 Jonice Webb, Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, Morgan James Publishing, 2012 Dorothy Tennov, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love, Stein and Day, 1979 Avi Assor, Guy Roth, and Edward Deci, The Emotional Costs of Parents' Conditional Regard, Journal of Personality, 2004 Jennifer Crocker and Connie Wolfe, Contingencies of Self Worth, Psychological Review, 2001 Geraldine Downey and Scott Feldman, Implications of Rejection Sensitivity for Intimate Relationships, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1996 Rod Martin and colleagues, Individual Differences in Uses of Humor and Their Relation to Psychological Well Being, Journal of Research in Personality, 2003 Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Azure Coyote Publishing, 2013
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