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    Dondré Whitfield on why men cheat — and what nobody taught them about love. Dondré Whitfield is an actor best known for his roles in Guiding Light, Queen Sugar, and The Game, and the author of Male vs. Man (a book about what it actually means to be a man in the context of family, fatherhood, and love). In this conversation, he traces the origin of his infidelity not to a moment of weakness but to a moment of watching his father lust after other women in plain sight (that was the day, he says, the cheater in him was born — not because he wanted to be that man, but because he didn't yet know he had a choice). What follows is one of the most specific and honest conversations we've had on this show about what it looks like when a man finally decides to understand himself and then builds an entire framework so his children don't have to start from zero. His concept, "we date as a family" (where the whole family meets not just the person a child is dating but their father too, so everyone can help scaffold the relationship toward something healthy), is practical, radical, and worth hearing in full. ————— Sex Is a Skill. Beducated is where you learn it. Join Beducated today at https://beducate.me/loversbyshan. Big love to the sponsor of this episode, CozyEarth! Head to https://cozyearth.com/LOVERS and use my code LOVERS for an exclusive 20% off. Head to https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/ to get your copy of Caro Claire Burke’s new book Yesteryear, a gripping, darkly funny thriller about an influencer trapped in a nightmare version of the past. ————— CHAPTERS 00:00 Trailer 00:58 What To Expect 02:48 Podcast Starts 03:09 The Dating Industry Problem 06:00 Teaching His Son Emotional Intimacy 06:26 Dating as a Family Affair 08:53 We Set Young Men Up to Fail 12:10 The Relationship Skills We Never Teach 12:55 Why Men Cheat 14:02 Next week on LOVERS 18:17 The Danger of Pretending You Have the Answers 19:09 The Shame Men Never Talk About 20:30 Why Fathers Are a Son's First GPS 23:58 How Do You Raise Men Who Don't Cheat? 25:37 Women Cheat Too 28:56 Masculinity vs. Manhood 30:55 Patriarchy 32:21 The Broken Door Story 35:00 How the Cheater in Me Was Born 38:38 What Healthy Manhood Looks Like 39:21 Understanding My Father's Limitations 46:47 Raising a Son Every Woman Deserves 56:51 Jared & His Dad Follow Dondré Whitfield Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/alldondre/ Website → https://www.dondrewhitfield.com/ Get Dondré's book Male vs. Man → https://a.co/d/0het8rPc Want more Lover? Shan’s AI trained to give you her advice → http://loversbyshan.com Get a free weekly Love Letter → http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter Join the Lovers Community → https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Explore free quizzes + worksheets → http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com
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